Chuck vs a WAY Crappy first Mission
by Just Chuck
Summary: Hi All.  Not sure why, but I was asked to post this today.  It was my entry in the first Who Are You Challange. One Shot


I was not going to bother, but I got a couple of PM's about this today, so I figured, what the crap, I'll Post it.

My Entry in the First Who Are You Challenge. Thanks for all the kind words about it.

_Entry Twenty_

"Oh come on people! How on Earth did you ever accomplish even one mission successfully over the last three years with teamwork like that?"

Daniel Shaw, the new team leader of team Bartowski, stood at the head of the conference table in Castle.

His special black 'superhero' outfit as Chuck called it was ripped in several places and his arm was supported in a makeshift sling. He started walking around the table with a noticeable limp and tried to stare down his teammates, or the best he could with one eye starting to swell shut.

Sarah and Chuck were sitting at the table, staring at their feet. Their chairs were almost turned back to back to each other. Sarah was holding an icepack to the small of her back with a bandaged wrist and Chuck had with an obviously - newly acquired black eye. Casey however seemed to be just fine and sat on the opposite side, cleaning one by one all the guns in the weapons locker and appeared to be totally ignoring Shaw on what was now becoming a three hour long lecture.

Shaw rubbed his left temple and was just waiting for one of them to say the 'it's complicated' line again. For the last hour when he went to talk to them, all he heard from them was "it's complicated." He swore - the next person that said that would get one right between the eyes. At least this time he got Chuck and Sarah in the same room.

"I mean can't I get some reasonable answers here? How did this go so terribly wrong? This was our first mission together, and a really simple in and out at that. And it blew up in our faces because of the French girl, what is the name again?"

"Hannah, her name is Hannah." Chuck whispered. Sarah, like every time any brunette's name was mentioned she tensed and her left hand seemed to involuntarily reach towards her knives. Chuck had noticed, quiet innocently enough, that she had been strapping more knives to various parts of her body than usual.

"Right, Hannah that's the brunettes' name. Let's take it from the beginning people. Now I went around and covered the back of the building, Bartowski, you entered from the front with Walker posing as your date and Casey you provided backup in the van parked across the street?"

Grunt #334 (Why bring me into this?)

"And then what happened?"

Sarah and Chuck seem to be about to speak at the same time but Chuck takes his hand puts it up to his mouth and turns completely away from Sarah.

Sarah with a hurt look quickly shakes it off and turns to Shaw "The asset went up to our contact and then got the ball rolling. It was very busy and we had to sit down in the far corner and waited until our contact returned with the packages. When the asset returned, I got up and went to the washroom, as is out usual protocol to scope out the place and as per your request; I waited for Casey to give me a clear on security to make sure that the back door was left unlocked for you to enter if necessary."

Grunt#234 (Tired with a side of dis-interest) "After you had made the connections to the security system, I looped three minutes of tape from the camera and gave Walker the all clear." Casey then takes a strip marked "MARTHA" from the label maker on his lap and puts it on the butt of the semi-automatic he just cleaned and goes and lovely returns it to its proper place in the weapons locker. He then pulls out a feather duster and gives it a final going over.

Chuck then cleared his throat "While Agent Walker was 'scouting', Hannah walked in and saw me, and immediately came over and sat down."

"Then had three new security locks and a double redundant security system on the back door and it took me a few extra minutes to disable the alarm and remove the locks. Total time from the asset was about 6 ½ minutes." Sarah jumped in.

"While I was talking to Hannah, that's when the sprinkler system went off." Chuck cut her off.

Shaw turned to Chuck "So is that when her dress came off?"

"Aaahhh no, "Chuck turned a very deep shade of red, "that actually happened a few seconds later..."

"Ok then, at what point did the bear show up. Agent Walker can you shed some light on this…"

Sarah sat straight up and looked down at the table again "When I returned I saw the asset with the brunette skan.. I mean the unknown contact sitting in the darken corner with the asset and I … mis-understood the asset's hand signals and I thought he was telling me to back off. And I still had to have his back and we had to complete the mission, so I decided to disguise myself..."

Shaw changed from rubbing his temple to the bridge of his nose "and so you in your expert opinion decided that a bear suit would be the best disguise?"

Sarah squirmed. "Well yes. I had lost audio communication with the asset so I put on the koala bear suit in order to re-establish contact. It was right beside me with the football team and the cheerleaders and the place was filled with people from the game I was using for cover but it was hard for me being a little older than high school students to really fit in well. It seemed the correct thing to do under the circumstances. I assumed an Australian accent and the team had no problems with be borrowing the bear suit that was their school mascot after I promised the quarterback a date. I worked my way over to the asset and …"

Chuck immediately had a hurt look on his face and Shaw thought he heard a little sob.

"I get it Walker, now Bartowski you and Hannah were talking about what?"

Chuck started twirling around in his chair. "Her first week at the Buy More. She thinks that Casey is scarier than Lester and I was telling her about the time Morgan glued Lester's hands together so he couldn't drink any beer. Worse thirty minutes in Buy More history. We were just glad the EMT's found something to dissolve super glue before Jeff started convulsing..."

"OH CRAP – ENOUGH TWIRLING! – So back on topic, when did the fire alarm go off?"

"It was right after Hannah leaned over and kissed me. And let me tell you when she kisses you, you really know you've been kissed." Chuck said fanning himself and trying not to look at Sarah.

Casey stopped dusting and turned to and noticed that Sarah went very stiff and she thought he smelled smoke coming from her direction. Chuck did notice that the knife that was on the conference room table was now missing and he slowly started backing away.

GRUNT #443 (Laughter) "That's when all heck broke loose, the bear went and lunged towards the couple, well the girl actually and the fire alarm magically went off. Oh by the way Walker, I retrieved the bear's knife from the fire alarm pull station behind Hannah's head. I'm assuming that the bear was aiming for it and not various parts of your boyfriend." Casey then puts down his duster, takes off his flowery apron that Shaw just noticed he was wearing and states "I'll be back in a minute."

Shaw sits down and starts hitting his head on the conference table "ow ow ow continue ow ow".

Sarah took a deep breath. "Well seeing a potential threat to the asset I went in to secure him and created a diversion to aid in the escape."

Chuck whipped the chair around and faced Sarah "Some extraction, you grabbed at Hannah and your sharp bear claws ripped her dress off in one clean 'whoosh'. At least I'm assuming it was the bear claws."

"How could I possibly know she bought cheap dresses and that she doesn't wear underwear?"

"Trust me, one look at her tight outfits and you can tell she doesn't wear underwear!"

"So you noticed before?" Sarah stands up beside Chuck.

Rising also "I work with Jeff and Lester; it's the main topic of discussion!"

By now they are so close together, Shaw could feel the restraint and the shear force of will vibrate off them. It was clear, both wanted the other, but neither would make the first move. He decided then and there he had to do something about that.

Slamming his one good hand down on the table Shaw jumps up. "Enough! You two sit down and knock it off or I'll get a bucket of ice water and send you both to your room without supper! My eight year old nieces act better than you two."

They both return to their seats and there is a long awkward silence until Chuck cleared his throat "So anyhoo, Agent Walker grabbed me and I grabbed Hannah and held her close since she was, well, naked and I wanted to shield her from everyone eyes. I would have given her my jacket, but with everyone trying to get out and Sar- Agent Walker pushing me towards the van, I couldn't get it off, Crap, I mean I couldn't remove my jacket since one hand was busy.. Oh Crap, I mean … oh heck so I held her close, using my body to shield her from hormonal teenage boys. That's when Agent Walker in those big bear feet tripped, resulting in a back injury when I fell on her and when Hannah fell on me, her head hit me in the eye. That's when Casey came up with a blanket and covered Hannah and blocked her view enough to that she didn't notice that a koala bear ran and hid in the van."

Sarah picks up the thread then. "After I got to the van I got out of the bear suit and then hear your call for help coming over the van's speakers. I grabbed my gun and ran around back where I found you…"

"Yeah, yeah I know, after being trampled by all those dripping wet teenagers running out the back door. I met them a third of the way in, they knocked me over and it was all I could do to make sure that they didn't do any permanent damage. They must have dragged me thirty feet." Shaw shuddered. Not that he hasn't had worse things happen to him, but the most embarrassing since the blindfolded mud wrestling incident of 2003 that nearly resulted in a shot gun wedding to a guy called Bubba wearing bright blue spandex.

"So I assisted you in your return to the van" Sarah finishes.

"Yeah looking mighty friendly when you did that extensive body checked for injuries, Sarah" Chuck said just loud enough for Sarah to hear. She shot him a nasty look, and he thought he heard something behind him, _'Please tell me his superpower isn't killing people with his mind."_

"So since we just met a few hours ago, and just so I know what I'm getting myself into here. We have a nuclear amount of sexual tension between you two, three people down with slight injuries, a NSA member that really is too found of his equipment and to top it all off, we were not able to acquire the packages with a briefing in what 10 minutes. This sounds like a bad script for that TV show on NBC; you know the one that isn't coming back until after the Olympics next March. What is that name again. Zack or maybe it was Yvonne, possibly Adam I am lousily with names of TV shows?" Shaw gets up and grabs a coffee mug from the table behind Chuck, only to put it back down when he notices that it has a throwing knife embedded between the words NERD and MACHINE.

Casey kicks the door leading from the double O and marches down the stairs carrying beer, a party pack of SUBWAY subs and a newspaper which he throws between Chuck and Sarah on the table. On the front page is a picture of a bear on her back with a nerd on top, with his face hidden by the back of a naked brunette. The Headline "SUBWAY"S NEWEST SUB: GEEK ON BEAR SKIN RUG WITH MODEL TOPPING." in smaller letters was written "New SUBWAY has grand opening in Buy More Plaza."

Casey grabs a sub and a beer and puts on the big screen "See how easy this is when you leave it to the professional, the next time we want Subway's $5 subs to watch the Monday night briefings, I'll go in alone, and you guys can stay in the van?"


End file.
